let me tell you something about myself that i don't like a lot of people to know.
i'm kind of a selfish person readers.
despite the fact that i love to give gifts, do things for others, and take care of people, i really am one of the most selfish people you will ever meet.
you want to know why?
i hate being second best. when i have friends i want to be their first choice- not all of the time of course because that's just a whole new level of selfish- but some of the time. good thing my best friend cali can put up with that. most people just choose to move on to someone...well...lower maintenance.
i can't stand when someone is better at something than me. it's motivating most of the time. the rest of the time, it starts to get old.
i do nice things for people, but in my head i get so angry when the nice things i do are never reciprocated at any degree.
but you know what?
it's absolutely exhausting to try to be this perfect person all the time, and to expect others to care how much you are trying.
my advice to you.
don't try to be perfect.
because perfection is a word used by those who can't see the world as it really is.
a bundle of beautiful imperfections.
you can't make anyone else care. you can only show them how much you care.
mother theresa caught my drift (or i guess i caught hers) when she said,
"People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centered;
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; Give the world the best you've got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and your God; It was never between you and them anyway."
tomorrow is just another opportunity to "do good anyway," and i think i'm going to try to take it. (:
today is the day i start being the person i always wanted to be.
growing up is scary. when i moved out here to california to go to school i never imagined the struggles i would face, the choices i would have to make, or how much i relied on the all too familiar people and places of home. but i'm not scared anymore.
i'm open to the possibilities the world has to offer.
today i choose to be happy.
today i choose to be real.
today i choose tojust be me.
i'm just a blue eyed girl with stars in my eyes. if you want to follow me along this journey of self-discovery, i'd love to have you along. who knows, we may even learn something from each other? and i sure would love to do that, because you, yes you my dear reader, have so much to offer this world,