never forget

Don't ever forget that you are unique. Be your best self and not an imitation of someone else. Find your strengths, and use them in a positive way. Don't listen to those who question the choices you make. Travel the road that you have chosen, and don't look back with regret. Remember that there is still time to travel another road- and still another- in your journey through life. Take the time to find the route that is right for you. -Jacqueline Schiff

STOP IT

Gal. Today is one of those days people. I think sometimes I like to blame my life situations on the way that I look. That I can't get dates because I'm not pretty enough, not good enough. That I can't make friends or get better jobs or whatever because I don't look the way that I should. I get in that, "why can't I look like her" "have hair like her" "be skinny like her" attitude. :/ It's a horrible attitude, and it's one that is taking me a long time to break out of. So, I'm acknowledging the fact that I'm thinking this way today, so that tomorrow I will stop thinking this way.

IT NEEDS TO STOP!

Who you are on the inside is not affected by who you are on the outside, unless you let it. 

And I'm really trying to stop. :p

xoxo,

someone who's trying

First Year of College

So I am most definitely procrastinating my finals with this blog post. Seriously though I should be studying my little heart out, but instead I'm going to write this blog post and be happy. (: It's strange to think that my first year of college is coming to an end. I have learned so much about myself and about people. Starting out I was so excited. College was a place to reinvent myself. But I realize that it wasn't me that needed to change, it was my perspective. Now, I love college, I love myself, and I am extremely happy with the direction my life is headed, and where it's at now! (: 

 Being away from my family during my mom's cancer treatment was really difficult. I prayed for her every night. I missed out on a lot of things because I was busy being sad and wishing I was there. Coach Erica really helped me through that time. Losing her as a coach sucks, but she'll always be a friend. (:Then rolled around learning cluster, and I went to India. Let me repeat: I went to INDIA. The best words I have about India: life changing. I just know that despite all the bad things in the world, there are always going to be those fighting to do what is right. Spring season for soccer rolled around, and Zoe and I became workout buddies. I also became happy at SOKA. It took all year, but I'm starting to come around. God really answered my prayers. Finally (I have no patience). I know I'm not always perfect, but no one is. I really needed to realize this. No one has it all together, despite what appearances may suggest. 

So what have I learned from college? 

How to be happy without other's approval. 

That it's okay to do things alone...and like the feeling.

How to accomplish things on a time crunch.

That hard work pays off.

God always answers your prayers. 

And...that being different is the best thing you can be. 

Here's a quote to remind you how powerful you are....

“Though of themselves life’s defining moments may seem minor, our wise responses can gradually increase our traction on the demanding path of discipleship. For instance, we can decide daily, or in an instant, in seemingly little things, whether we respond with a smile instead of a scowl, or whether we give warm praise instead of exhibiting icy indifference. Each response matters in its small moment. After all, moments are the molecules that make up eternity, affecting not only ourselves but others, because our conduct even in seemingly small things can be contagious.” Neal A. Maxwell

Temples

I don't think I ever realized how much I loved my home until I left it. I am so excited to spend the summer with my lovely family! (:

Also, so glad that we are sealed together forever. If you're having a bad day, hit up your nearest temple. Here's a picture of my favorite U.S. temple, my favorite Utah temple, my favorite California temple, and my favorite international temple to brighten your day.



Washington D.C.



Draper Utah



San Diego California



Trujillo Peru

Have a lovely day kids! (: Don't forget how much God loves you. (:

i'm scared

i'm scared of not being needed and being needed to much.

i'm scared of being alone and of feeling alone when i'm not.

i'm scared that no one wants me. 

i'm scared of snakes and spiders.

i'm scared that i'm not good enough.

i'm scared of new things and of losing old things.

i'm scared that everyone will walk out on me.

i'm scared of what others say and what they don't say.

i'm scared that i will never do anything worthwhile, that my life will be a waste.

but you know what? your fears do not define you. 

"My beloved brothers and sisters, fear not. Be of good cheer. The future is as bright as your faith." -thomas s. monson 

have faith my dears...things will work out. words of courage for today. (: 

The Rag Doll

bringing back a story i wrote forever ago. needed this thought today. remember how much worth you have readers. con mucho amor...

The Rag Doll

I open my eyes.

I stare. 

Stare into the reflection that is cast in front me.

I am a rag doll; made up of pieces of yarn.

As I stare into the mirror, I begin to pull.

Pull apart the yarn that holds me together.

“Too fat.”

The voices in my head whisper. A bright yellow string falls off of me.

“Too ugly.”

Now a purple one.

“Too short.”

A deep green one joins them on the floor at my feet.

I work my way from the outside in.

“Too stupid.”

A fiery orange one drops listlessly from my body.

“Too loud.”

Blue slumps to the ground.

“Too opinionated.”

A scarlet red one completes my unraveling.

The voices continue to swirl in the air around me.

The echoes reverberating off the walls, the floor, the ceiling.

“Not good enough. Worthless. Unwanted.”

Then I see a face in the darkness.

He is light. He is warmth. He is comfort.

He picks up all the yarn mounded on the floor.

He asks me why I have insulted him.

I am confused. I ask him what he means.

“I am your Maker. I searched long and hard for the perfect yarn.

I found the right combination of colors;

The right consistency; the right strength.

I wove them together with gentle hands.

I breathed life into their strings.

This yarn is not yours to destroy.”

He takes all the pieces that used to be me,

He weaves me back together once more with a determination that I have never seen.

I could tell he had done this before.

The scarlet red is woven with the blue.

“You are intelligent. You are worthy.”

The emerald green is joined to the mix.

“You are loving. You are kind.”

Orange, purple, and yellow complete my transformation.

“You are beautiful. You are Mine.”

Colors once seeming worn, dull, and unsightly become vibrant on my figure.

He asked me if I would help Him now, the way he has helped me.

I wondered how I could ever repay this act. I couldn’t, I told him.

He pointed.

While I was staring into the mirror, lost in my own unraveling;

I had failed to notice others, just like me, falling apart on the shelf.

As quickly as He came, He went.

But I now had a purpose. I was not just a rag doll.

I was HIS. 

the gospel

I know that the Gospel is true, but I sure wish that God would give me some answers right now. A change is coming, but I don't know if I am ready or what it is. I just have to keep being patient. Gah.

Continue in patience until ye are perfected: D&C 67:13

you got it Lord. I'm listening, and patiently waiting for your answers. 

Can't wait for General Conference this weekend, I sure need it.